Dreaming. Scheming. Always Believing.
In any given moment I am doing one or all of these. They are the threads in the story of my life, and I go back to this mantra when I feel despair, delight, or anything in between. I’ve learned that if I am doing one, the others usually follow.
Sometimes I abandon Dreaming. I choose the lie that whispers “selfish” and I shelf my dream like a book I keep around because it’s pretty but have no intention of ever reading.
Same with Scheming. These are the wings and plans of a dream- often revealed in small parts. Some ideas remain on pages or in my heart for years; others take form in real life very quickly. I have made peace with this as each one is part of the story.
Always Believing…. There is a deep and genuine faith inside of me but it wavers in this world. Sometimes I just can’t with the capital C church, and with injustice and with loving my neighbor, and with remembering to remove the log in my own damn eye.
That is when I rely on the faith of those around me to carry me when my own light shines too dim. I believe God can handle my doubts, my dismay and my propensity to wander. ( Lord, I feel it )