5/6/17 Can you equally want it and not want it?
YES, Until one day the scales tip. For many, this follows an epic bender complete with a rock bottom ending. For you? It was a hip baby shower that you stumbled out of on a summer afternoon. For whatever reason, you wanted something else more that day than you did the desire to keep doing what you’d been doing up until that point.
5/7/17 Is today the day?
NOPE. It wouldn’t be “the day” for three more months.
5/17/17 What is missing in a moment that makes me feel adding alcohol will enhance it?
Nothing. It’s a lie you’ve been sold for a long time and habits have long been in place to place alcohol in the center of the narrative. I know you're wondering less about those social moments and more about those moments alone, but you aren’t really ready to face that yet.
5/29/17 Memorialize the day
Bc there's never a good day to stop. To quit. To abstain. To try. There is only the truth that you must.
There actually is a good day to stop. To Quit. To abstain. It’s every day. It’s any day. It’s today.
7/1/17 GLASS HALF EMPTY
Yeah. The full glass has started to appear empty more often than not. You are paying attention. Don’t stop.
SO SICK OF FAILING
Even your target shopping list wasn’t safe from your self-loathing. You aren’t failing, you are in a process, but it feels like failure because it is new and it is hard. Saddest list ever.
Low B6=more anxiety and depression
Seratonin drops when drinking alcohol
Facts. You are now paying attention to data and science and trying to uncover some concrete evidence that your drinking habits are negatively impacting you. You are often led by feelings but it is good to add some neutral data points to your thought processes.
You don't know it yet but you are 2 weeks and 2 days away from your Day 1. I wish you knew that.